hi all

as promised, I won't be updating this journal any more. It's college, and that's, like, SO 3 weeks ago.


Anyway, my new address shall be awra_boringname because I could not think of anything better. When I don't have dialup anymore, I'll add friends and make serious entries.


peace and love.

I decided when I got up this morning now that I'm done with school and everything is at it's conclusions (it's my last day before I will start donning a cap and gown and begin those activities) and I started thinking more about a couple things that I picked up while I was here. I've realized that while things have certainly not been perfect, they've been good. I don't know, folks who might be reading this. I don't know what I feel. ( Read more... )

Also, this is probably my last entry on this journal. This has been my college journal, and so it makes sense with college over that I should get a new journal. I'll give everyone a link to the new one whenever I decide to start it.


To everyone who made my life special here at Grove City special, thank you. When I look back and think of many of you, I realize you are so much of the reason why I am who I am, and I conisider myself so much more the blessed to have had you in my life. It's been an honor.

Current Mood: accomplished

Your #1 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends. You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules. Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives. You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller! You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #2 Match: ENTP

The Visionary You are charming, outgoing, friendly. You make a good first impression. You possess good negotiating skills and can convince anyone of anything. Happy to be the center of attention, you love to tell stories and show off. You're very clever, but not disciplined enough to do well in structured environments. You would make a great entrpreneur, marketing executive, or actor.

Your #3 Match: ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #4 Match: ESFP

The Performer You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others. A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic. You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally. You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic. You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #5 Match: INFP

The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your dating personality profile: Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Outgoing - You can liven up any party. You've got a way with people and have little difficulty charming your dates.

Your date match profile: Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life. Traditional - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers. Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Religious 2. Big-Hearted 3. Outgoing 4. Practical 5. Adventurous 6. Conservative 7. Athletic 8. Traditional 9. Intellectual 10. Romantic

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Religious 2. Traditional 3. Practical 4. Conservative 5. Big-Hearted 6. Adventurous 7. Athletic 8. Intellectual 9. Romantic 10. Shy

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions



I've seen this everywhere, and I thought I'd do it too :)


Greek sing tonight! Woo!

Current Mood: chill
Current Music: Ben Folds Five - Bad Idea

So I was thinking now that my collegiate life is coming to the very last shine of the sunset, I should probably do a few reflections on what I've learned, experiences I've had, and what I hope to take from here that isn't a degree. And as I was thinking about it this morning in the shower, one thing came back at me glaringly - have I sold myself too short this whole time?

( Read more... )

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Billy Joel - You're My Home

I thought I'd show you a little bit of what happened on my Spring Party at the Pirates game. We took surprisingly few pictures, but I can at least show you the group and my date:

( Read more... )

Unfortunately, it's still on the grind. I'm getting steadily closer to getting out here and being able to pick and choose who I want to be around who I can avoid. So much is so good in my life, but it's a couple of the little things that can bring you down.

Oh, and I have a job with Gannon University. :)

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: Amerie - 1 Thing

So I was reading an article called "The Pussification of the Western Male" by a guy named Kim Du Toit, and it sorta struck a nerve with me tonight. Maybe it's been a mix of a few different things, but the jist of it is that we've become half the men we used to be because we're a mother driven society, and that now we've become over warned, over refined, and over wussed. Wild At Heart parallels this, saying that in our culture men are no longer permitted to be men. We have to be refined, we have to be have to be controlled - in other words, we are no longer allowed to be dangerous. We as men are no longer permitted in our society to feel powerful beyond our control. We have to be encapulated in our jobs, in our committments, and in what the world wants us to be. And you see men walking around dead inside. They look empty, they act empty, and they act out in some way or another to get that power back. As I read the Du Toit article, I see that at least there are some guys who are mad about it. But it's all misplaced anger. Regardless of what side of the fence you sit on as it relates to the role feminism played, by getting angry at it, it merely propigates the issue at hand: that there is a growing amount of men that don't think they have what it takes to stand up for truth and character, and be a man of integrity. When they have the chance to do something, they get mad and fuss instead of looking inside themselves and growing. So to Mr. DuToit, I'd say this: if you are tired of the Pussification of America, grow as a man and have integrity. It might require a trimming of your language and some more grace, but I have no doubt your capable. Like you said so truthfully: be more like Dad who is kind and firm, but willing to stand up when things are wrong. That's strength - graceful power.

I guess in this discussion when Wild At Heart is brought up and when the spiritual degradation of men is brought up there's still a point missed. Sure, we've lost a sense ourselves, and we should find power and we should be the Lions of Judah. But you can't just be that, either. I think about Jesus, and he was one of the most tender individuals anyone could have met. He loved deeper and cared more about the people who deserved it the least. There was kindness in his soul. This can't be lost in the shuffle of regaining a man's heart. However, it's very obvious to see that Jesus was also powerful (heck, he's all God in a man's body), and he had a passion and fire to him. He fufilled a life beyond himself, one that trancended his time here.

This is ultimately where I see Christian men feeling empty, and why we have a generation that is so limp-wristed: because we as men have simply stopped living for something beyond now. Think of a guy you know, and then think of what seems to prioritize: work, his wife, his family, his social status, God? I would venture to say that the men who you think are honestly living with God as #1 in their lives are not the wimped out men of this generation, but men who have some sort of passion in them... something that makes them look and act differently. When a man doesn't have a life outside what he lives in, he grows weak like a caged animal. And then he finds it more and more difficult to fend off those things that he could have deflected with all of his power - greed, lust, envy, fear.

This point is why I ultimately take a small exception to Wild At Heart and reactions like DuTiot's, because I feel you can be a powerful man and wear nice clothing and be refined. You can be a music person or an english person and still harbor that Christ-like passion. It's a matter of where you ultimately ascribe your identity. You place it in earthly things and you eventually get drawn out because it can't fuel you, or you place it in the God who created everything and who is all powerful, and you feel some of that energy. You want to be of it and in it.


Anyway, that's a long enough write for me. Peace and love all, and happy Easter.

I found this blog in my research today about integrity, and I wanted to share it. I love what the woman said, and it's very true:

( Measuring Up )

Good Friday service was awesome. I miss church when I'm at school. Hearing a member of your family preach to a church is awesome.

( scribble-scrapple )

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Linkin Park - Nobody's listening

Dear reader,

Happy spring, and sorry. I haven't been doing a good job updating. If you look over the course of this journal, you'll see I go in phases - the superficial quiz stage, the apologetic I should write meaningfully, too much information, and then back to superficial. So you read now in stage two. And I just realized I haven't written anything of depth since about January. In any case, if you wanted something new and insightful, it's not that time. But if you want a semester update, viola:

( What's happenin' )

English Genius You scored 93% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 77% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 38% on Beginner You scored higher than 34% on Intermediate You scored higher than 89% on Advanced You scored higher than 71% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

Because I want to pick up the baton for linds273, here's a nice little quiz:

1. Total amount of music files on your computer?
375... and then add a five to the end of that.

2. The last cd you bought was...
Alycia Keys "The Diary of Alycia Keys"

3. What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?
"Amsterdam" by Coldplay

4. Write down five songs you often listen to or mean a lot to you.
+ Captain Jack - Billy Joel (One of the songs of the first album I ever recieved)
+ Comfortable - John Mayer (Song of the longest relationship I had in college)
+ One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces - Ben Folds (One of my favorite of his, and reminds me of being short and made fun of in middle school :P)
+ Lover, You Should Have Come Over - Jamie Cullum (new song for me, but it's a good song)
+ To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens

5. What new music are you really excited for in the coming year so far?
Ben Folds new solo album - Landed is awesome

6. What 5 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?
audience_of_one, chicka878, fuego_maximus, charr80, potuskaylan

I love reading other people's journals. It's such a great way to see people at their most personal - there are so few people who want to shade their journal to appeal to those who may read. It's theirs, after all, and who's to stop them from what they want to say. Anyway, Hans Latta, one of the fellows on this campus that while I may not talk to him every day, would never have any qualms just sitting and talking to whenever, wrote something that was related to the stuff I wrote a couple days ago. Anyway, enjoy.

( Quiet Beauty )

John Kerry with a man, Clinton with the ladies.


Some things just don't change.

Last night on the way back from tutoring in Pittsburgh, the group of us in the van started talking about what our ideal person would be to marry. At the time I had a few things, but I thought it was interesting. So, for all of you who may care, I give you my laundry list of the things I would love to find in the girl who I want to marry.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: The Roots - You Got Me

Hi all. I didn't really give much of a story because I was half asleep all of yesterday. I'd never pulled an allnighter until Groundhog's Day, and now that I've basically done nothing but sleep, here we are.


MY PICTORAL GROUNDHOG'S DAY
( Read more... )

Moral of the story? Everyone should go - it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. Which a good thing that it is - more than that and I dare say I'd get myself committed.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Nickel Creek - This Side

Yes.  I was there last night.  I enjoyed the scenes. 

There's plenty more to come, but here's the picture to prove it.

peaceandlove

I want to create a new pump up album for working out or doing this and that and want to get ideas from all of you out there. Anything at all... I'd love to have 20-25 tracks.


Thanks all :)

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: The Go! Team - Friendship Update

We were talking about it last night. There's a pervasive virus that sweeps across Christian campuses, and I think it's tied in greatly with the Gen-Y mindset along with this overt dedication to being principled. I've explained it once, and here it is again:

( April 13, 2003 )

Almost 2 years it's the same thing. You can't take a girl out for coffee without having a game plan for years. You can't just be sweet and kind without having to drop back and punt things you're uncomfortable with. If I want to make you dinner, I do it because I'm having fun. I want five dates to figure out the next five dates, not to marry you. The time will come for the purpose and for the seriousness, but relax and enjoy life for even the smallest moment without extra pretense.

I'm just frustrated by it. All of my relationships on this campus sans one ended on that note - that there was an inability to commit to something that had no need to be committed to yet.

We'll see what happens in the next semester, but as for me, I'm going to just throw it all up into the air and let God just direct the path - as seriously or not as He wants.

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Kill Bill Vol 1 the movie

Life is funny. You get twisted and bent and created and recreated and destroyed promptly afterwards. You learn and forget, relearn and remember to forget again. You fight God so that he'll give you his job when you don't really want it, but you keep telling yourself you're bigger and better and faster than what He's doing. And you take it over. Ambling along. And then you realize you only took over what you were given anyway. The best laid plans of mice and men, after all.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Sufjan Stevens - Enjoy Your Rabbit

You Are 28 Years Old

28 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.

One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.

So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"


Thank you, Dr. King.

The Great LiveJournal Outage of 2005 During the outage I got laid. What did you do? Brought to you by geek-foo

Current Music: Weezer - Undone (The Sweater Song)

What do you do when you don't beleive the Bible as truth?
Why do all guys have this innate desire to fix things, even when we can't?
Why is it that my life constantly refelcts John Mayer lyrics?
Why do I want so bad to be in control? Why can't I give that to God?

So I've thought all of this, and was looking back at some of my old entries. I found this one I wrote this summer, and it's the same story in my life - give up. Stop trying and give it to God.

( August 2, 2004: Soul Searching Volume I )

I leave them again. God, take my will away. Take my contol away, and for what it's worth, take what I am and use it.

I was reading back at some of my old journal entries (I like to do that because I can see who I was, how my writing style has changed, and how I was kind of a tool back in the day :P)

Anyway, I found this entry, and it basically is a thesis to the journal. It's also a snapshot of history, because I thought at this point in my life I'd be on my way to engagement and student teaching.

( Painting And Life: June 24, 2002 )

I've been reintroduced to Jamie Cullum by Natalie, and he's been heavy in my rotation. I heard this song today, and it made me smile. I'm always a sucker for the "I'm going to be patient and know that if I'm doing the right things, the right girl will be there smiliing at the end". I'm not typically good at that, but if there's something I've learned in the last few years of college is that boldness mixed with patience is the best way to go. My personal favorite (and the one certainly most applicable to my life) is the one I bolded.

( It's About Time )

I'm halfway done with my essay which is due Thursday. I'm going to Adam's for some homecookin' and some relaxation. Then Thursday will come around and I'll turn in that sucka and life can begin to settle down. I look forward to enjoying regular school and seeing what's in store. I'm just excited for the possibilites.


peaceandlove

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Jamie Cullum - Next Year, Baby

You figure out for yourself. This is a personal favorite :)

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/blog/video/snl_downer.mov

I think life is gorgeous. I see life as gorgeous.

The key to living a gorgeous life is to think it is when you do not see it.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: David Gray - My Oh My

I was watching the Daily Show because I'm incapable of falling asleep, and I thought of something. This whole tsunami thing is snapping people into action - the outpouring of money and help is amazing. But it's also disappointing. Why aren't we showing this love and dedication to the world on the whole all the time? It seems so easy these days to throw a few bucks at something that seems like the cause du jour, but when it comes to loving the guy who's having a bad day, or the girl who needs to be held because she's crying, it seems so below us, no?

When I try to be inflective, and try to learn more about what makes me tick, I've come to find that one of the toughest parts of my life is balancing confidence with humility and self-deprication. I want as much as possible to be someone who exudes confidence - who at least looks like and at most does have his stuff together. For one, it keeps me strong - it keeps me thinking "alright, I've got what I need to have in control there - I can keep going", and for two, I want to be the person that people come to for their strength. I love feeling like a pillar of support for those who need it. And it's that feeling that I have it together that keeps me feeling like I can provide that.

( Read more... )

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: Grieg: Peer Gynt Op. 23, Death of Åse

I'm relaxing here at the end of another wonderful day of classes here. I'm really liking this intercession schtick. I get up at a half decent time, eat breakfast, watch the news, shower, and get ready. I spend time with friends and everything, but mostly I read. And it's not bad. Class is fantastic, though. 4 hours of listening to Dr. Potter and discussing books and what they mean. There are two different types of English profs - those who ask you how you feel, and those who tell you how to feel. Dr. Potter is in the former category, but he also has this fabulous didactic quality to him and an ability to phrase himself profoundly. I find myself more intrigued by his inflections and verbiage than by the analysis he provides. I'm in there with some great people too: Andy Lucas, Chris Schwartz, Russel, Natalie, and Dave - so I certainly don't feel alone at all.

I made dinner tonight. That was a lot of fun. I'm finding such great contentment in doing simple things with people I really enjoy spending time with - and to me, that's a fantastic way to live (for once, I've kept a New Year's Resolution longer than the time it took to figure what it is).

Also, in a moment of pure self-indulgence, I bought myself a Pino Cotton towel - extra large. So if any of you see me tomorrow morning with a certain twinkle in my eye and looking especially dry and content, you shall know why.

Tomorrow is wrapping up Paradise Lost and reviewing paper proposals. I have to study for my midterm on Friday and read the first part of Pilgrim's Progress. This weekend will comprise of making food, cleaning the apartment for Erik's return, and wonderful things with certain folks. Also, did I say writing an essay? Whoop whoop.

Goodnight, fair morrow, pnl.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: Jazz on WSAJ

In honor of 2005, I'm putting up a song that, although isn't the cleanest one ever, sums up a lot of my goals for next year. Hey, stuff happens, it's alright, just keep living because really, the crap you're putting on yourself isn't all that worth it.

( NERD - Breakout )

Current Mood: calm

( Warning you ahead of time... )